slash_whore27

I know you all have been waiting for this. :P I will see him again on his birthday, Nov. 7. I still need to go shopping. Bleh.



It's not the best quality. Sonia sent this to my phone a few days ago, but here you have it.

I have moved--again. My lease was up September 30th and the damn, dirty Mexican is leaving me (as in leaving the country) on December 9th so we have gone our separate ways as far as our living situation. I moved in with a friend of mine from work. She had an extra room in her house and she was offering me cheap rent so I took it. It's not bad. My room is really tiny, but I can deal. She (her name is Kristi) has an 18-month old named Koley who I just love and adore.

I believe one conversation with Sonia, aka baby mama, went something like this:

"Koley is the coolest kid ever!"

"Not as cool as Colin though."

"Um, I am withholding judgment on that 'cause all I've seen him do is cry and eat."

I think I made her a little mad, but I still haven't really seen much of a personality from him. Granted, I have only seen him a handful of times and always seem to catch him during his naptime. And he is almost a year old! What the hell?! Has it really been that long? Sonia is having a birthday party for him at her mom's house. I was told that I have no choice but to go. I tried to whine my way out of it because I think kids' birthday parties are boring, but I was told to man up and be there. Damn.

And have I mentioned that he is already in 2T clothes? How the hell did I birth such a big-headed monster baby? I blame the big head on Anuar 'cause it's certainly not from me. The last time I talked to my mom, she said that he has a Charlie Brown head. It's so big and round!

And I am about two steps closer to being debt free! I just paid off my no-more-babies surgery and I am about to send in the last payment on my car. Sweetness! I can actually start saving my money again. I've already changed my direct deposit at Academy to have a hundred dollars go directly to my savings account from each paycheck. And Sonia finally paid off my hospital bill for having her bastard love child. Yay!

And oh lord. I watched the movie Twilight with my friend Marisa a few nights ago and it was so horrible. Usually, I can sit through a movie if it has a dreamy guy in it and I do think Robert Pattinson is dreamy, but everything about it was so horrible. I kinda liked the first book. I read it out of curiosity to see what the big deal was about and it was a letdown. All throughout the second book, I kept thinking, "Bella! You are an idiot! Go for Jacob! He is so much cooler than Edward!" And I got so bored with the third book that I didn't even finish it. I never do that. Usually, I can force myself to finish book no matter how boring, but I just couldn't with that one.

Later!

And not much more is going on. I am still unpacking even though it has been over week since I have moved and I really don't have that much crap. I have some relatively recent pictures of the boy on my camera that I need to figure out how to post.

Snagged from gateruner (I have totally forgotten my html skillz so there is no handy link to her journal.)

Ask, and I will..

1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, a word etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
7. In return, you must post this in your Lj.

I've found the prettiest scarf to make with the really soft pretty bargain yarn I found a couple weeks ago. Just one problem: I'm apparently too stupid for lace knitting. I just don't get it! I follow the instructions exactly and I always run out of stitches before I run out of instructions for the row. Gah! What the hell am I doing wrong? It is so very frustrating. I'm thinking about making this instead. I shouldn't have any problems with cables. Here's hoping!

I drove down to Melbourne, FL on the 12th to see my sister and dad and the hellions (aka the nephews).

Keegan is five and the kid never shuts up. He's still a little cutie and has quite the imagination, but I really wanted to strangle me a hellion quite often while I was down there.

Aidan is about 7 months and is at the stage where he babbles the cutest little nonsense ever. He's generally a happy baby, but he did get fussy alot (thus earning the nickname "fussy butt" from me).

And it all comes down to this: If I ever get knocked up, someone has to just shoot me and put me out of my misery. Don't get me wrong. I actually enjoyed my time with the little buggers, but I really, really, really don't think I'm cut out for motherhood. I'm too greedy. I don't want to put my life on hold to mold and shape a child's life. Granted, I don't have much of a life to put on hold, but still. I like things the way they are.

That was always one of the issues with Matt (the ex-boy). He wanted kids; I didn't in the slightest. I did compromise though and said that he two chances to have a son. (He's the only son of an only son and apparently it's a big deal to pass on the family name or whatever.) Let's just say I said that I would have kids, but every fiber of my being is screaming "no!" We would talk about it sometimes and while I said that he had two chances, I also let my displeasure of the idea of squishing out hellions be known. It was never a dream of mine to have children.

That's not to say I'm completely and totally against the idea of ever having children (just 99% sure I don't want them). Occasionally, I would actually think "would it actually be so bad?" Especially since I thought I was going to be with Matt for the rest of my life.

So in the end, who knows? Maybe I'll eventually find someone to have kids with and may actually enjoy it, but it'll only be when I actually want it. I think bringing children into this world when you don't actually want them is a horrible thing to do.

Until then though, I want your solemn promise to shoot me if I ever get knocked up. :P

So I have earned a new nickname from my Sonia. She is now calling me Apocalypse Chrissy which I so totally do not deserve. I can't help that a Hitchcock movie was coming to life around me.

I had just gotten to Sonia and Shawn's and was standing in the kitchen talking to them when we hear the sound of breaking glass. What the hell? Shawn looks in their bedroom and a bird had actually flown through the glass! It was trapped between the shade and the window. Shawn had to be the manly man and get it and free it outside.

But wait! That's not all. Sonia and Shawn took me out to eat the next night at the greatest little Italian place ever when two birds seemingly came from nowhere and flew through the dining area to the back. They had actually gotten in from an opening between the gas heater and the chimney where it was set up at.

So now Sonia considers me the fifth horseman of the apocalypse and apparently I'm going to bring the birds upon us all.

I need a slash buddy. I have no one that I really talk to about all the slash I read (and believe me, I read a ton of it--it's an addiction). I just have to come to terms that I'm in the Bible Belt and the majority of people here will say that I'm going to hell for reading about *gasp* men getting it on...with each other. What can I say? I read my porn.

The reason I brought this up is that I'm reading Learn to Speak Canine in Seven Easy Steps by etcetera_cat and I read the funniest line and I wanted to call someone, but wait, no I can't. My friend Sonia knows I read slash, but she wouldn't be able to herself. And um, yeah. She's about the only person who knows. None of my other (few) friends would like it too much either so I'm alone in my love for slash in my circle of friends.

Sigh. I just need someone to share the love with.

Well, I actually talked to the boy last night. I'm over the anger I had about him breaking up with me (I suck at holding grudges anyway--it's basically impossible to make me hate someone...unless they're stupid and annoying). It's turning out to be a good thing. We were in a rut and just dragging each other down anyway. I am by no means over it at all. It's going to take awhile to get completely over him. He was my first...everything.

At least I made through yesterday without crying at all (I did tear up when I was talking to him, but I'm not going to count that). Let's see how today goes.

I don't really have anything on the agenda. I'm going to go to Wal-Mart to pick up some things, drop some magazines and movies off at the library, and maybe go visit my grandmother. I'm undecided on that. She'll probably want to talk about what happened with Matt and I want to make through the day without crying. And oh yeah, I still have to restore some order to my room. Damn. I hate organizing.

Come people. Keep showing me some love.

Love,
me

It was all a lie, wasn't it? When you held me that night, telling me that you eventually marry me, how much you loved me, how good I felt to you, how I was always there for you. It was a lie. I think that's what hurt the most. You gave no indication at all that you didn't want me anymore. What changed that weekend after I left? If you were feeling that way, then why did you want me to spend Thanksgiving with you and your family?

I still don't understand how you could go from wanting to cuddle with me while you slept to coming home that night and locking yourself in your office. You didn't even call to let me know that you were back in town. I was getting so worried about you. You fucking bastard.

Maybe it's better this way. I guess I could never make you completely happy. I didn't make enough money. It didn't matter that I love my job. I should've been making more money. Never mind that you dicked around when you in school and should have had your degree by now. That's the pot calling the kettle black.

I would never keep the house clean enough. Yeah, okay. I cluttered things up and I procrastinated on doing laundry, but you were almost as bad as me. You would let things slide also, then get worked up about it.

I didn't want kids. Forget the fact that I said I would have them so that you could pass on your family name or some such bullshit. At times, I actually did want to have them. I thought I would feel differently about kids once I had them. Especially if I had them with you.

Then you tell me that you think we should break up and that you haven't been happy for awhile. Why now? You had given me no reason to think that anything was wrong between us.

You ripped my fucking heart out. And despite that, I miss you so much and I would do anything to have you back. How pathetic is that? You don't want me anymore, and I still want you.

My boy broke up with me last night. We had been going out for almost four years and he broke the news to me last night after I got off work. I was floored. I thought everything was fine. He gave every indication of that until that point. I started crying then and I've been crying on and off again since then. Luckily, my friend Sonia came up after I called her. We got a hotel room and we went back to the townhouse today, packed up all my shit, and I moved back in with my parents until I figure out what to do.

I'm still in a state of disbelief. I never thought this would happen to me. I thought he was the one. Guess not.

I'll probably write more details later, but my brain is shot right now. I've had little sleep these past two nights.

Show me some damn love, people. I really need it.

Love, me

Well, my sister has now popped out her second hellion. She named him Aidan Harper which I absolutely love that name. She's supposed to coming up this week to visit (she's living with our dad now in Florida). I've been keeping in touch with her, but she didn't tell our mom at all that she was moving or call her when she had Aidan. Mom's been hearing about Shannon from me. Oh well, they always had a rocky relationship.

The boy and I visited my mom and stepdad this past weekend. Mom cooked chili for me; I had been craving her chili. After Leo got home, I left the boy with them and visited my grandmother. It left me feeling a little depressed. I think she is feeling her mortality because she was giving me stuff and made a comment about how she won't be around when the boy and I finally get a real house. She ended up giving me a photo album with pictures of me and Shannon when we were little girls, and she gave me her knitting needles and crochet hooks that she had left.

Then a few days ago, I drove back down to go the health department so that I could get my yearly violation out the way and pick up more birth control. ( TMI... )

And what has been up with the fic lately? I haven't really found anything that I have really wanted to read. I've just been sticking with the old favorites and that's beginning to get a little tiresome. Bleh. I'm just bored. I should really be cleaning the house and getting ready to visit the boy's parents for Thanksgiving, but all I want to do is knit on Sonia's Gryffindor scarf and watch TV. I'll be coming back home tomorrow...just in time for Black Friday. Of course, I'll be working that day. It's going to be hellish. Wish me luck.

Love,
me

So I have now become addicted to knitting even though I'm not even close to knowing how to do everything. I have recently overcome my fear of working with double pointed needles through making a cute little baby hat that's in the Stich 'n Bitch book.

I have discovered that I love working with double pointed needles. The first time Matt saw me working with them, he decided to call it "Darth Maul knitting." I guess because Darth Maul's weapon of choice was the double light saber (or whatever it's called).

Right now, I'm excited about the yarn I ordered to make a Gryffindor scarf for Sonia. Yeah, we're huge Harry Potter nerds. I'm going to go pick it up tomorrow.

My masterpieces so far include:

2 dark blue baby hats (I sent one to my sister.)

1 light pink baby hat (I sent that one to Sonia so that she could give it to a friend.)

1 crappy blue and green scarf (This was the first thing I had ever knit. I didn't keep track of when I should have changed colors so they're a little uneven, and I somehow managed to add a stitch when I first started knitting it.)

1 unfinished blue scarf (I'm still working on this one. I have no clue who I'm going to give it to because I think want to make a scarf to match the gloves that lonesomepioneer sent me.)

I really want to learn how to knit socks so that I can make some for Heather. She was always wearing funky socks to work.

That's all I have for now. More to come later.

Love,
me

Wow, it's been awhile since I have updated and not too terribly much has been going on.

( Vacation )

( Yet another trip to Houston... )

( Oral surgery )

Ooohh! I got a few new CDs these past few weeks: Sleepthief-The Dawn Seeker (it features Kristy Thirsk who (or is it whom?) I love from Delerium's stuff), Balligomingo-Surfacing (which once again features Kristy Thirsk), and Regina Spektor (I got into her from an SGA vid that was based on the fic Freedom's Just Another Word for Nothing Left to Lose).

So yeah. I lead a very boring life, but I have the next few days to kill because I'm not going back to work until Sunday. I'm using a couple of my sick days. So I'm just going to be a couch potato and try to finish knitting my first real scarf (I don't count the first one I knit even if my boy seems to like it).

Love,
me

Stolen from torakowalski.

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Seriously, I need to get a life. I've been on the computer all bloody day. Bleh.

And is anyone else as excited as me about the new Battlestar Galactica? I saw the new preview for it during Eureka. And holy shit. I can't wait to see the storyline between Leoben and Starbuck.

On to the recs:

Children of the Revolution by Kathe
"She'll keep on asking questions, dead sober or punch drunk, because she knows it will finally be over when someone stops answering."

Behind the Curtain by Jennifer-Oksana
"This Cylon is so different than the others Kara has met. There's something in her eyes that is almost familiar. And pained. Not pained like Boomer and her lost-little-girl thing. Not pained like Leoben, who wanted to reunite with God."

for whom it is reserved by Sangaa
"His first thought is oh frak, that's he's missed the flight call for incoming attack. His second thought is oh frak, there's no call, no attack, because he killed 1300 civilians to prevent it."

Instruments of God by Jennifer-Oksana
"Everyone seems to think Kara Thrace has a destiny except Kara Thrace, who knows they are all out of their minds, and yet she keeps ending up on suicide missions that succeed beyond a drunken optimist's wildest dreams."

I am so addicted to Silver Lake right now. I stumbled across it years ago when I was into Harry Potter slash, and I have just rediscovered it again. Except this time, there is so much more I'm paying attention to besides Harry Potter.

I used to watch this show religiously, but then I lost track of it for the last couple seasons. I used to devour any fic I could find for this fandom. This is the only fandom where I will read het, and it can only be Sark/Sydney at that.

There used to be an awesome Alias fic archive called Cover Me, but alas, it's not around anymore so I'm really going to have to seach for the Alias fics I used to read back in the day (this is my first foray into Alias in about two years).

Come Undone by Siryn (Sydney/Sark)

Fumes by Nicola (Sark/Will)
"Maybe he wanted it; welcomed a quiet death and the solid exclamation point of a murdered corpse."

Aqua Vitae by Rhysenn (Sark/Will)
The mention of water reminded Will how dehydrated he was; somehow, pain and terror had distracted him from thirst all this while. His relief and eager need must have shown on his face, because Sark's mouth twitched with a hint of a smile."

Identity Crisis by sandrine (Sark/Will)
"There must be a reason why he keeps being attracted to people who could kill him with their bare hands before he'd even see it coming."

The Domestication of a Wild Rose by cg (Sark/Sydney)
"The revenge he's looking for is a tangible thing. It lit his eyes at the most surprising of times today. I understand the betrayal, the need of having blood spilled to relieve the pain of spillage of your own, sort of. But to be blinded by it is a mistake. To let it consume you, detrimental. I just hope he knows what he's doing."

Sotto Voce by thassalia
This story was distubing as hell to me.
"They're on an avoidance course, which means not only avoiding the Alliance, but pretty much everything. At the edge of the territories, a silent target for Reavers, it's hard to think of much that's joyful. It's hard to have hope, to look for work, to do more than stay this side of drunk and talk to his own ghosts."

Oxygen by Eleanor K.
He wishes Mal had taken that belt and whipped him till he was bloody, till he couldn't sit down for a week. It would be miles easier to take than this.

A Good Idea by Eleanor K.
He'd like to think he has valid reasons for keeping Jayne on board. Reasons beyond his own libido. He's fairly sure he does, and hell, Jayne's out being useful right now, isn't he?

A Touch of Silk by elynross
Just the sight of him filled Jayne with stabbing confusion, with odd feelings of guilt and shame and a botheration he blamed on that powerful hit Mal made with his little attention-getter and his own near escape from the airlock.

The Wolf's Way by Kirby Crow
"Persephone is so pretty, Mal thought, so placid and green. It looks like such a civilized place from the outside, but wolves bring their ways with them. Simon would learn that in time."
Sequels: White Gowns for the Moon and Bones of Mercy

*Hey Kirby, is there any chance in hell that you will continue this? If you do, I will fall and worship at your feet. (More than I do already. Your writing is nothing but pure hotness.)*